Is it Bullying for a Football Team to Win 91-0? Parenting Lessons on Winning and Losing from a Football Coach

A parent accused the opposing team of ‘bullying’ after his son’s high school football team lost 91 to 0.  The Texas father asked why the winning team didn’t just take a knee and stop the game?  The story created a lot of debate, reminding me that many educators and parents try to prevent low self-esteem by protecting students’ feelings at all costs.

I talked with my friend, Jeff Cole, an assistant football coach at Fellowship Christian School in Roswell, GA about the story.  I also asked Jeff how he prepares his players to win and lose and how as a parent, he teaches these lessons to his own children.   Here’s his story.

Paladin 5/6th Grade Football Team

Paladin 5th/6th Grade Football Team, courtesy of Fellowship Christian School, Roswell, GA

The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement (Atria Books, 2009)

Jean Twenge, author of ‘Generation Me’ teamed up with University of Georgia Psychology Professor Keith Campbell to write ‘The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement.’

The book exposes the troubling effects of ‘self-admiration’ and self-esteem programs and the serious consequences of narcissism in America including incivility, egotism, rising debt and working less for more.

Parents will find the book helpful in identifying the myths of narcissism and the influences to look out for in their own family, school, the media and in the workplace.

‘Instead of telling kids what winners they are, its better that they learn how to fail with grace and resilience.  In academia, we’ve found that this ‘learning to fail’ lesson has been much more useful than the ‘you’re special’ message.’

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Why School Grades Mean Nothing (Don’t let your children read this)

Joel Malm's Blog
November 5, 2013

I enjoy reading Joel Malm’s blog.  I don’t know Joel personally but am encouraged through his stories of faith, adventure and courage.  Joel leads ‘Summit Leaders,’ where he helps men step out of their comfort zone to better understand their calling.  Instead of a conference room setting, Joel takes his audience on a hiking or sailing adventure of a lifetime.

His post, ‘Why School Grades Mean Nothing‘ shouldn’t be used as an excuse to let your children slack off but it should help you see the importance of vision and encourage you to take a ‘farsighted view.’   If academics aren’t your children’s forte, help them discover their skills and desires in other areas.

Monica and I faced a similar challenge with Nathan during high school when we realized helping him follow his ‘creative’ skills was going to more valuable than pushing him toward an ‘academic’ Advanced Placement curriculum.  You can read that story here.

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Right is right, even if everyone is against it, and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it.

William Penn, founder of the Province of Pennsylvania and early champion of democracy and religious freedom

How to Reduce Family Holiday Stress and Establish Your Own Family Traditions

This is a guest post from our friend, Allison McCreary.  Allison shares how she and her husband, Grant have established meaningful, new family traditions in their own home.

It happens to most parents: trying to find a balance between each person’s family traditions and establishing new traditions as a family with young children. We often get caught up in the “major” traditions asking whether to open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, do we serve the full menu for Thanksgiving Day, and where to celebrate key holidays?

Grant and I are still trying to figure out how to balance our childhood memories of holidays, family obligations and traditions and our goal of setting new traditions in our family.   Recently, I’ve realized that I can take some stress out by focusing on the other 360+ days a year to create new traditions and memories for Cecelia and Carter to carry with them as they grow.

Here are two new traditions we’ve started in our family and lessons learned as a family that will help us create more.

Allison McCreary and children Cecelia and Carter enjoy Saturday morning tradition.

Allison McCreary and children Cecelia and Carter enjoy a new Saturday morning tradition.