Sibling Conflict: How to ‘Make’ Your Children Get Along

This is a guest post by our friend Christi Melrose, a wife and mother of 3 children. Christi shares a recent experience of sibling rivalry in her household and how she handled it.
How do you “make” your children get along? Ultimately we are training our children’s hearts. When my kids are unkind to each other I worry about their hearts, especially when I think of Matthew 12:34 “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” I have a 9, 11, and 13 year old. Lately, I’ve seen behavior that looks like they are out to get each other and generally don’t like each other. This prompted me to check out John Rosemond’s parenting website www.parentguru.com for some advice.

Photo Courtesy of iStockPhoto.com

Photo Courtesy of iStockPhoto.com

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Is it Bullying for a Football Team to Win 91-0? Parenting Lessons on Winning and Losing from a Football Coach

A parent accused the opposing team of ‘bullying’ after his son’s high school football team lost 91 to 0.  The Texas father asked why the winning team didn’t just take a knee and stop the game?  The story created a lot of debate, reminding me that many educators and parents try to prevent low self-esteem by protecting students’ feelings at all costs.

I talked with my friend, Jeff Cole, an assistant football coach at Fellowship Christian School in Roswell, GA about the story.  I also asked Jeff how he prepares his players to win and lose and how as a parent, he teaches these lessons to his own children.   Here’s his story.

Paladin 5/6th Grade Football Team

Paladin 5th/6th Grade Football Team, courtesy of Fellowship Christian School, Roswell, GA

Right is right, even if everyone is against it, and wrong is wrong, even if everyone is for it.

William Penn, founder of the Province of Pennsylvania and early champion of democracy and religious freedom

Effective discipline requires strong parental leadership.  According to John Rosemond, author of ‘Parenting by the Book,’  leadership is not a set of behavior modification methods but an attitude and mindset.  Whether in business, sports or parenting, effective leadership traits include the following:

  • may disapprove of what you do but they always approve of you
  • lead by example
  • enthusiastic sharing their vision
  • decisive and willing to make un-popular decisions
  • stay the course when the going gets tough

A popular leadership talk on Ted.com is ‘How Great Leaders Inspire Action’ by Simon Sinek.  With over 12 million views, Simon Sinek’s talk explains how Dr. Martin Luther King, Apple and other individuals and businesses become more inspirational leaders.  There are lessons for business leaders and farsighted parents.

About TED:

TED is a nonprofit devoted to ‘Ideas Worth Spreading.’ TED  started out in 1984 as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. Since then its scope has become ever broader. Along with two annual conferences — the TED Conference and TEDGlobal — TED includes the award-winning TED Talks video site, the Open Translation Project and TED Conversations, the inspiring TED Fellows and TEDx programs, and the annual TED Prize.  TED conferences bring together the world’s most fascinating thinkers and doers, who are challenged to give the talk of their lives (in 18 minutes or less).

Question: What leadership have you demonstrated in raising your children?   You can leave a comment by clicking here.