Parents are often challenged with balancing the role of parent and role of husband or wife.  Unfortunately,  the children often become the primary focus and the parents allow the role of spouse to fall to secondary importance.   The result is often a ‘child-centric’ home which ultimately hurts both the child and the parents.

This video is the story of Ian and Larissa — a story of love after a traumatic brain injury.  It’s an inspirational story of a couple’s struggle to find what’s truly important in marriage.  I hope it inspires you to find ways to keep your marriage strong by serving each other. Your children will appreciate it.

Read a 1-yr update of their story here.

Learn ways to keep your marriage ‘spouse-focused’ here:  ‘Til Children do us Part? 

Marriage is forever, like a lock when you throw away the key

On a Paris bridge over the River Seine, couples proclaim their love for each other by buying a key lock, attaching it to the bridge, making a wish and throwing the keys in the river.  Monica and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this year in Paris.  We joined thousands of Parisians and visitors and bought a 3-euro lock, wrote our names and date on it, attached it to the bridge and threw the keys in the river, making a wish for another 30 years together.

I don’t know how long the City of Paris will allow our lock to stay on the bridge.  However, it was a reminder that marriage should be forever and a great romantic memory of our trip.

Locks on a Paris bridge

Locks on a Paris bridge

We saw a few combination locks on the bridge (see photo insert) and joked that those may be from couples less optimistic about the length of their relationship, wanting an option to remove the lock later.  Maybe it represents the couple that decides to live together instead of getting married or marries with a prenuptial agreement.

The experience reminded me of three principles important for parents who want a long, happy marriage:

‘Til Children do us part?

When children come along, many parents to find the new role of ‘mother and father’ total changes the role of ‘husband and wife’ in their marriage.

Photo courtesy of

Photo courtesy of

The marriage vows of ’til death do us part,’ seem to change to ’til children do us part’ for many couples. Most of us know couples who decide to divorce after the last child goes off to college because the focus on children replaced their focus on each other during the marriage.