“Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. Life’s greatest lessons are gained from our losses”
The quote, “Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn: Life’s Greatest Lessons are Gained from Our Losses” is from the title of John Maxwell’s new book, Sometimes You Win–Sometimes You Learn: Life’s Greatest Lessons Are Gained from Our Losses, published in October 2013.
A popular speaker and best selling author, John Maxwell writes about a key leadership principle that farsighted parents should teach their children. I’ve not read John’s book but in today’s culture of self-admiration, parents can help their children avoid an over-inflated view of their own abilities by helping their children learn from their mistakes. And when your children win or succeed, it’s better to say, ‘you really worked hard!’ or ‘wow, you really did your best,’ instead of ‘wow, you are so smart!’
Beginner skiers appreciate the trail maps and signs that identify beginner and intermediate slopes and warn of the difficult and dangerous slopes for diamond and double diamond class skiers. Skiers need different skills and training to navigate each slope. There’s a similar trail map and training guide for parents: Its called ‘the four seasons of child rearing’ by John Rosemond, author of ‘Parenting by the Book,’ and was created to help parents identify childhood stages and successfully parent their children through each one.
The Four Seasons of Child Rearing
Here are the four seasons of child rearing.
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
I really enjoyed this book. It describes how the values of many of the ‘under-40’ generation have changed from earlier generations. While not written specifically for parents, the book helps explain how parenting has changed over the years.
Lumping together Gen-X and Y under the moniker “GenMe,” author Dr. Jean Twenge argues that those born between 1970 and 1995 are more confident and assertive than earlier generations. However, she also points out that many are also more self-centered, more disrespectful of authority and more depressed than earlier generations.
A member of the ‘Gen-me’ generation, she explains how Generation Me is the first generation raised to believe that everyone should have high self esteem.
Twenge advocates ‘ditching the self-esteem movement’ in favor of encouraging real accomplishment to be ready for the realities of today’s increasingly competitive workplace.
Whining Children? Try this Mom’s Response
This is a repost from Jenna Loving, a friend of ours and mom of four who shares a creative way to help her children stop whining.
In an attempt to make my kids understand how disrespectful it is to whine when I ask them to do a chore, I told them if they are going to complain about helping out the only words they can say are, “Mom, I don’t want to do this because I think YOU should be the only one who does any work around the house.” Not surprisingly my girls refused because they realized it was rude (and quite clearly a trap). My son on the other hand? He sweetly said, “Mom, I don’t want to put the silverware away because I really do think you are the only one who should do work in the house.” That kid is lucky he’s so darn cute.